"Natalie sighed, clearly exasperated. "Is this really a problem for you?" No," Adam cried. "I'm not ... you know." He writhed a little and looked at her with a longing look. "I just didn't ... well it's not..." It's affected your speech," Natalie teased and pushed past him to get to the kettle. "Are you embarrassed?"Adam spluttered and picked up his drink. "No," he said quickly and loudly. "It's just ... ya know."She glanced at him and shook her head with a wry smile. "It's not anything to be. I know they'd like some closure and so would I."Can we go out to dinner some time and talk?" I'd like that. Are you sure you can handle it? I know how mad you were back then." Time is a great healer and I guess its bothered me that in thinking about it, I need to know where I failed you." OK, let's talk about it. Its long after the fact and long overdue, I guess." How about dinner tomorrow night after we get back to town?" That's fine. Here's my business card with my home address and home phone. I needed something, someone to reignite my thruster. I needed a muse to reenergize my creative spirit. Besides, my self pleasuring and fantasies were getting to be the only intimacy I knew anymore. Oh I could wander my paw, taking my own measure like a champ, trust me. I knew the benefits of Kegel exercises as well as anyone, and made damn certain I practiced. I approached my princely pole with adoration and due reverence, carefully orchestrating a cadence and effect to bring myself to the. Cleaning the floors and bathrooms on my hands and knees until Iwas exhausted, all that while dressed as a damn girl. I hated it and mylife but had no choice. My only salvation would be getting out fromunder the State system. I would be eighteen in June and that would endmy confinement. That thought was what kept me going. Once freed, Icould reclaim my inheritance from the State and live my real life.Once Rosa left in mid-December, my biggest nemesis Arithia became evenmore dominating. .
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